Britain ripe for revolution?......or would we rather watch the X Factor

I've not posted for a long time mainly because there has been nothing to grumble at: our wonderful country is being beautifully run into the ground by the Tory/Lib Dem coalition; David Cameron is visiting Sri Lanka despite its appaling human rights record;Europe just keeping poking its' nose in where it doesn't belong, spending our money, on according to the Daily Mail a 'gravy train' (surely it would all run out of the carriages?) perhaps thats why the trains don't run on time. Secret phone taps, secret armies - see Stuart Cowans excellent blog on this at facebook The list is endless, and now of the recession has offially ended courtesy of the Bank of England we can all look forward to higher wages ? believe that when I see it Higher interest on our savings? Higher prices in the shops , higher fuel bills: Everything is looking up according to the Canadian Governor of the Bank. Well it probably is in London or Toronto, especially Toronto I hear its a 'cracking ' city ! To be honest I've just been plain lazy but now I read we in the UK can expect to pay significantly higher than inflation electricity,gas & water bill rises for the next 17 , yes SEVENTEEN years. Evidently this is to pay for neglected infrastructure.Perhaps I'm missing something but aren't the utility companies privatised now ? Shouldn't shareholders pay towards the rebuilding of their own businesses? Are they going to take a higher than inflation hit on their dividends for the next 17 years ? Watch this space !With wages being kept low and council cutting services you would think Britain is ripe for revolution (Was it Russell Brand who postulated that theory recently, well enough said about him!) No the protest songs are all left in the sixities, the militantcy died in the 70s The only thing now that would get Britainany where near a revloution would be permenant ban on XFactor,Britains Got Talent or I'm A Dickhead Get Me Out Here! hopefully all three please. But heaven forbid what would they do with the space in the schedules, they might have show more important stuff like what's going in the world or in the country; but then again would anybody watch unless they could press a red button to interact and vote someone off. There's an idea for elections, referendum and all important legislation, televise the debate and let us vote with the red button; that is of course assuming we haven't all fallen asleep like some of our elected officials do. (even when they know that parliament is being televised)

Nanny state & health

Isn't it time the 'nanny state' (Apologies to the Daily Mail) stopped treating everyone like schoolkids. Lets hike up the price of alcohol for all to stop a few idiots. I remember being at school when the whole class was kept in because no-one would admit to the misdemeanor. Why not punish more severly the wrongdoers or is that too radical ? First an all out attack on smokers, who by the way put more into the state by way of tax in general, than they take out through healthcare. Then a blitz on binge drinking, of which I'm in favour but not at the expense of everyone else!A tax on fatty foods has been proposed, even higher parking fees to quote "encourage motorists to walk more" Whilst all this concern from a government about the nations health may well be laudable most of the lifestyle choices are a result of socio-economic conditions . There is an almost perfect correlation between poverty and poor health areas. The government would therefore be better off employing resources to alleviate the poverty and improve health with real money and education.

What Recession..not here Guv

If you've got 50p in change in your pocket you're probably richer than the United States. Europe too is in crisis:Greece,Portugal,Ireland,UK now Italy; the world is in a financial spin. Well so some would say!.Can't we find the guy who everyone owes all this money to and kill him?

Seriously though is it real or just figures on a computer screen somewhere. There appears to money for the Olympics, billions of it,money to bomb people out of their homes in far off lands, money to send to the other side of the world so foreign governments can misappropriate it - or worse still buy arms from us to kill their own people.There's money for bankers bonuses but not for the sick & the lame.And there's road works EVERYWHERE !!

Outside of the Olympic obsessed capital there is another world where pubs, factories and shops close down every day, perhaps there is a case for a separate government for London as in the old city state of Venice. at least that way politicians would have to bother themselves with the riff-raff out in the sticks. Plus we wouldn't have to listen to all the claptrap about how well everything is going, how full the restaurants are and the booming City economy. There is life outside London..and I for one don't give a damn about rich athletes, poverty stricken bankers and politicians who think the world ends at Watford

Council tax revaluation is ruled out Thanks for nothing !

So the Lib Dems have decided to save us all some money by not re-evaluating our houses, Gee thanks , shame no one was interested in saving us money when Council Tax was rising year on year alongside a decline in services. Is there any rules about what councils have to spend our money on , apart from salaries & pensions of their staff of course ( Something else which seems to rise year on year despite the recession) .
Refuse collection is now fortnightly or when they feel like it. recycling is token many different systems,colours and boxes, none of which integrate or make any sense.There is even talk about fines for not putting the right rubbish in the right box, despite the fact that in most cases I suspect they all get dumped in the same hole in the ground somewhere.
Street lights may be turned off to save money, muggings may increase but that's a different budget so it wont matter. Old peoples homes are closed, Children's playgrounds are left devoid of equipment or are ploughed up altogether to build more houses to collect more council tax. This insidious tax has inexorably increased in direct proportion to the decline in facilities that it is supposed to pay for. With most ordinary workers wages frozen or in many cases reduced how can any increase in council tax be justified ?s So Mr Cameron don't pretend you are doing me a favour by not revaluing my property . Could it be your mate live in well undervalued residences I wonder , or am just an old cynic ?

Tories to privatise entire Benefits System....

Ian Duncan Smith plans the end the culture of "worklessness" by privatising the entire welfare & benefits system. Earlier sponsors wanting to take over the system are Heinz with a reintroduction of soup kitchens and the Hertfordshire Hunt who see the unemployed as replacement for the lack of foxes in their area.

One idea put forward by Virgin is to use the unemployed to replace broadband to homes in rural areas. This would see a chain of of runners delivering 'e-mails' by hand. It appears this is twice as faster as Virgins current connection

David Cameron is backing the new scheme and has suggested many useful ways in which people on benefits could usefully help society he added "Traffic Cones Direct are extremely interested in supporting this venture as they see dressing benefit scroungers in bright orange dayglow jackets and lining then up along motorways as a cheaper alternative to cones"

Cuts or No cuts that is the Question not How deep

Just as the unlikely coalition of conservatives & liberals are about to plunge the country into the valley of a thousand cuts, I thought it was time to look at possibilities other than losing jobs, markets and decreasing peoples standards of living. Is there any alternatives? The government would have us believe not, and of course it's all labours fault , they spent too much when they were in power . Agreed the country has a massive debt, £156 billion:currently standing at around 40 % of GDP Horrific isn't it ? well yes, but not when you remember that the country owed far more in 1945, around 200% of GDP and then we embarked on the largest construction program the country has ever seen. House building and infra reconstruction created jobs, income and wealth leading to the "Never had it so Good " era of Harold McMillan. So the question I ask is not where to cut and how to to cut but why cut at all ?

The fact that the 1945 Labour government were not re-elected even though they increased their vote was in fact my main reason for wanting a fairer voting system. Now however, although I would love to see more power in the hands of smaller parties, eg Greens.The abdication of morals and realignment of principle that the Lib-Dem party has undergone makes me wary. If all PR will bring is a clamour for power at any cost why should we believe any of them?It would be too much to ask them to campaign honestly:"I think that more schools should be built, but if the Tories get in we will support their plan to abolish schools altogether"or perhaps "We believe in low taxes, but if Labour have the majority we'll support an massive hike in income tax & VAT"

One thing I never want to see is a Lib-Dem government, just as their predecessors the Whigs were absorbed into the other parties, so Nick Clegg has consigned his party to the dustbin of history, I'm sure the people of Sheffield will welcome him with open arms when he goes back there.It is a shame, because Liberal Party history is littered with good leaders and good deeds, much social improvement in the country was brought about by liberal philanthropists and their political endeavour. They cannot survive on history, the electorate will remember then as the U-turn party of British Politics , unlike the children I see playing on the common who wait to see which way the wind is blowing before they launch their kites, the liberals float theirs high in the sky and then proceed to pull it back rapidly in the opposite direction.

So if it means giving any power however small to the Lib-Dems I'll vote against AV in the May referendum. We may have a flawed system but at least its straightforward and upfront , no smokeless rooms behind closed doors with dirty dealing and jobs for the boys. Credit must however be given to Nick Clegg for he must be an accomplished yoga expert to bent over backwards so far in an effort to please & grab power.

How Green is My City

Coventry is a very green city: grass thrives in the gutters alongside the plastic bottles and vomit. Moss and mould adorn the decaying buildings left to rot by the council. Trees are cut and fashioned into weird naked statues with arms outstretched to the grey skies.Traffic is congested in crazy one way systems behind a hundred buses belching out toxic fumes - Incidental how does a tourist know what the exact fare is? - There's the graffiti and picturesque fly posters that adore the walls and of course the flashing blue lights that shoot up and down tower blocks in the city centre telling you what the weather will be like. Well worth a visit.! (Don’t the council realise the weather is available free on teletext.)

The heart of the city, Broadgate used to have green area where one could sit and rest, now it's concrete and paving slabs in keeping with the rest of city, and metal benches ...very comfy. It is of course meant to be pedestrianised (apart from buses) signs prohibit all but them entering Broadgate during the day,unfortunately no one appears to take any notice, which in a way is good because otherwise you wouldn't be able to get anywhere. - On the subject of signs and road furniture, the council appear to have bought a job lot of traffic lights & signs and seem hell-bent on using them all at once. There are several examples of multiple traffic light junctions not in sync and contradictory road signs . "No left Turn" "No Right Turn" - Sorry Coventry Council I have yet to adapt my car to fly !

There is one grand approach to the city which is both beautiful and green, from the Kenilworth side; that despite previous unsuccessful attempts by the council to remove the trees in a road widening scheme. Indeed approaching the city from the Kenilworth road is a pleasant experience, you drive the signs (Here we go again) that proclaims Coventry - Home of Coventry University. Well, I never - Coventry Uni is based in Coventry, I always thought it was in Liverpool or perhaps Manchester. Why not Coventry - the home of Lady Godiva or the London Black Cab, Dame Ellen Terry or The Specials. Do the council have an aversion to history ? The main problem is the lack of identity.The council appear to demolish anything older than ten years in the name of progress, thus losing any link with the past. Coventry did have a very colourful history. It grew up in the Middle Ages and even as recent as 30 years ago, there was a host of medieval shops and houses teetering over the pavement. Most of them had gone now. Either moved brick-by-brick, like some gigantic 3D puzzle, to a ‘touristy’ part of town; or even more curious, packed away in crates deep in the vaults below the Council House. Such is progress. To be fair most of the centre of town was destroyed by Hitler's bombs, but what he left standing the Council finished off. It's the just the sort of place to visit to if your doctor gives you six months to live – It would seem like six years!

Many other towns and cities manage to merge the old historic buildings with new exciting ones, Nottingham & York are but two examples. In Coventry the emphasis appears to be on reducing parkland,replacing perfectly good buildings with ugly ones, and leaving old historic monuments to rot. Money is spent on redeveloping the same areas time and again but always producing something that is no better than it was before. How about an overall plan, a blueprint that recognises a city consists of its people and they need somewhere time to sit rest, reflect and recuperate from the bussle and stress of city life.

Coventry was once a proud place, the most important in the area. It grew into a smart modern city. We have had an unchanged council for many years, have they become complacent? Are they still in charge or have they turned over the asylum to the lunatics, although they might conceivably do a better job. Where’s the soul? where’s the life? and where’s the sense in paying these people to run our city. Just to finish off and so as not to be accused of just knocking down without rebuilding, here's a couple of ideas that that might help reduce traffic congestion and free up the city centre:
1.All buses should go to the Bus Station - There's a radical suggestion. There would have to be of course a shoppers bus for the elderly & disabled doing a circular tour of the centre, free and paid for by the traders.
2.Road congestion is caused by the connecting roads to the Ring Road, that flows pretty well , even though it acts as a restrictive collar around the centre its here now and we must put up with it. On several sides of the city are two connecting roads: Holyhead , Allesley Old rd Walsgrave, Binley & Stoney Stanton, Foleshill couldn't they be made one way into town Holhead road in Allesley Old rd out. Just an idea but no doubt we'll still be sitting in our cars breathing in exhaust fumes in 20 years time!

Saturday Night Out

   A recent survey was carried out to discover exactly what the average woman carries in her handbag . Now I've yet to meet an average woman and the article doesn't explain what they mean by 'average'; average height , average age , average intelligence. Of course all this means is that some university research boffin has obtained a grant to research and survey all this vitally important rubbish. 
   What the survey fails to disclose is why those super magic bags that all women own, you know the ones that look small but are in fact bottomless contain all things known to man (and woman for that matter.) Hair-bands, rubber-bands, and economy size hair spray, safety pins, Band-Aid, bandages, brushes for hair, teeth and nails, a small metal disc with bits of wire sticking out (don’t ask!), shampoo, soap, lipstick and lace. A spare pair of tights in case they have an accident and a spare pair of knickers in case they don’t. A mobile phone with no credit left on it (what's the point ?) and a mirror, must not forget the mirror, ever! because there is nothing worse that a woman pulling down my driving mirror to apply several layers of red gloss to her lips because she has left her mirror at home. The above list is by no means a comprehensive one but it does go someway to explain the age-old question of women go to the loo in teams of at least two. They have to carry out an inventory of each other bags on a periodic basis to ensure they are not letting the sisterhood down.
  Quite apart from the Dr Who time capsule that woman carry about, there are a small proportion of the fairer sex that fill my cab with an overpowering stench of Kylie D'Amour or Essence of Essex Girl. I suggest that the university boffins could research a more appropriate perfume for use in a modern era,perhaps "Vomit in the Gutter" or "Kebab & Cider" Better still they could invent an intravenous drip for vodka shots & alco-pops which would would save them the bother of going out in the first place, they could just lie in the gutter and cut out the middle man . I am considering fitting  an electronic arm to the cab to deposit said individuals directly to their destination, it would save them falling out of the car once the door is opened - the blood can be so hard to clean off in the morning.

A letter from "Disgruntled" in 'Middle England'

   I'm rather fed up with politicians and media types telling me that we got what we voted for in the General Election. I don't remember there being a Con -Lib option on the ballot paper. We voted for no-one, not trusting any party to run the asylum on their own.I do wonder if Gordon Brown had resigned, once Mr Clegg decided to two time his wife with Cameron and begin his long courtship, whether or not there would have been time to formulate the coalition . Had Brown toddled off to the palace on the Friday  Cameron may have been forced into a minority government. Plenty of governments survive like that , but certainly not for five years and they definitely would not have been allowed to change the 'Vote of Confidence' rules to 55%

  Seems strange that a Liberal Democrat government supports such an undemocratic act. Still  stranger is that on the verge of a break-though in British politics the liberals decide to commit hari- kari and submerge themselves into the Conservatives.Power corrupts & absolute power corrupts absolutely, at least Nick Clegg will go down in history as the man who killed the Liberals, just as Blair buried Labour .The Tories have and always will support business and the well off ,that is their  template and they achieve their aims admirably. Labour started with it's idealism supporting workers, indeed its finance comes from the unions ,but was turned towards the mythical 'Middle England' rejecting the working class in the country.It now seems to support dole scroungers,immigrants and criminals whilst the gap between rich and poor widens ever more.

  Hopefully Labour can realign itself and begin to remember its roots. No-one is suggesting people should not have aspirations to better themselves, and governments should encourage this, and I'm not advocating left wing union politics , but a little support for honest hard working people in this country would not go amiss. The last election provided a choice of right wing conservatism or right wing conservatism, bordering on fascism in the case the of Labour.Essentially a choice between tax hikes ,cuts and the gap between the rich and poor getting ever wider.

There was of course smaller parties and had Mr Clegg pushed harder in his 'marriage contract' with Cameron he may well have helped those smaller parties make progress in the unfair lottery of our electoral system. The proposed AV system will do nothing  but entrench the current parties in their dominant position The dilemma of Pr and the example of horse trading we have just witnessed could mean for example, the BNP gaining a few seats and forming an alliance with others.The greed for power overshadows any principles, and who knows what offspring may be born from the Clegg-Cameron marriage.I wish them well and hope they'll be very happy together although  I do hope they can settle the divorce amicably when the time time comes.

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George Carlin's Views on Aging

 Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.  'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. 

 You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.  'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

 But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

 You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50, and your dreams are gone... But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

 

 So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50, and make it to 60.

 You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that, it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!  You get into your 80's, and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'  Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'  May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

 HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

    3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

 4. Enjoy the simple things. 

 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 

 7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND, ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Ferguson & Wenger in Secret Talks

Ferguson & Wenger were today being closeted away in the bowels of Lancaster House at the FA in a bid to find areas where their differing football philosophy agree. Wenger initiated the talks when he realised that a joint bid between Man Utd & Arsenal for the Premiership would keep Chelsea off the top spot.
Ferguson said in a press conference "Although Chelsea have more points they don't have a clear majority over Arsenal & Man Utd. The system is obviously unfair" Wenger added that he disputed some of Chelsea wins anyway because he hadn't seen them!
If the talks are successful Aston Villa manager Martin O'Neill & Man City's Mancini said they too would launch a joint bid for fourth spot & the coveted European cup place. Rafa Benitez had promised that his Liverpool team would get 4th but he refused to negotiate with Mancini opening the door for O'Neill

Bad Mobile Reception ?

None of the Above!

   Will the General Election bring a change whoever you vote for ? 65% of constituencies are fixed, so called safe seats  & would return the candidate if he was  a one legged river dancer. Basically your choice is for the Tories who will cut services & raise tax or Labour who will cut services & raise tax, & possibly Lib Dems who promise lots but should they ever get to power would cut services & raise tax. Very few modern politicians  have actually done any work in the sense that 'normal' people would understand it. They appear to have no concept of honesty, integrity  or live in the real world. True there's good & bad in all parties , so why do the bad apples keep rising to the top. Peter Mandelson has resigned twice & yet still manages to to get the higher echelons of his party, and who voted for him ? no one!
   I believe you should vote. It is part of the democratic process, If you don't you don't really feature in the statistics apart from a low turnout figure. If however you attend the polling station draw a line through the candidates  & write None of the Above  then you are recorded ,as a spoilt paper. A dream senario would be a massive turnout a  high member of spoilt papers. Could we even get  to a situation where None of the Above was the majority.? Wouldn't that send shock waves to Westminster ?
  Don't waste your vote  protest & make them listen  follow Vote 4noneofem on Twitter & join the Facebook group:None of The Above let's show them we do have a voice & HOW POWERFUL SOCIAL MEDIA CAN BE !

Immigration is a Dirty Word

   Immigration is such a dirty word in this country. With an election looming non of the major parties want to initiate a discussion about it. We are a small island irrespective of colour creed or religion unfettered immigration puts massive strain on the infrastructure. Tabloids daily produce scare stories :"Asylum Seeker has Gender op on the NHS"  "Immigrant  Allowed to Stay Despite Conviction" "Lithuanian found living in Shed at the Bottom of My Garden"etc etc How much truth there is in these headlines depends on who you believe, but either way is it not time we as a country called time on unlimited immigration until the people already here can be successfully housed,fed & cared for.

  Further still this multi-cultural experiment, which in the PC world of we live in is the all embracing creed,is in reality a myth. Before you start screaming at the screen I have no problem with multi-racial society, it is the multi-cultural bit with which I argue. Many people confuse culture with genes. A person of Indian descent for example born in the UK is genetically Indian . He may adopt all the western culture he likes and could therefore be English in culture. He may on the other hand remain Indian in culture and follow all the customs , and fashions of his family. Both situations are equally valid. But the cultures do not mix, hence the formation of ghettos within a lot of cities in the UK. The contrast of architecture ,customs  and language throughout the world is what makes it so diverse and interesting. How boring would it become if every country was the same hotchpotch of cultures with no difference between them ? The classic thatched cottage of the English village, the dreamy spires of Oxford  so be retained and not lost beneath spinnerets and plastic domes just because councils are too frightened to say no.
    
   The integration of immigrants into a nation should also be subject to the law of the land and not change existing legislation to accommodate their beliefs. It is considered unchristian and indeed a crime to be cruel to animals for instance in the UK . You cannot, even in a slaughter house kill an animal without pre stunning. Quite right too!. However it is legal to do so in Halal and Kosha slaughter houses, Why is it that something which most right minded individuals in the host country find offensive is allowed to carry on in the name of another religion . Perhaps I could start a religion which demand that all animals should be clubbed to death, presumably it would be my human right to be allowed to practice that religion? I am not advocating discrimination but the opposite I want equality. I want indigenous people to be treated the same as immigrants, is that so wrong?

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People Your last name stays put.  The garage is all yours.  Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just a snack.    You can never be pregnant.  Car mechanics tell you the truth.  The world is your urinal.  You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.  You don't have to stop& think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.  Same work, more pay.  Wrinkles add character.  People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.  New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.  One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.  You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.  You can open all your own jars.  You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.  Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.  Everything on your face stays its original colour.  The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.  You only have to shave your face and neck.  You can play with toys all your life.  One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.  You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.  You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife..  You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.  You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.  No wonder men are happier.

. 
 

Labour Party in trouble

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway.Nothing has moved for half an hour when suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, - 'What's going on?'

'Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling, David Miliband and Jack Straw.


They're asking for a £10 million ransom or they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection.'

The driver asks, 'How much is everyone giving, on average?'

'Most people are giving about a gallon.'

2010 Tax Code

The only thing that the Revenue has not taxed yet is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up,  20% of the time it is pissed off and  1% of the time it is in the hole.  On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts! HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2010, the penis will now be taxed according to size: The brackets are as follows:      10 - 12'' Luxury Tax $ 300.00 8 - 10'' Pole Tax $ 250.00 5 - 8'' Privilege Tax $ 150.00 3 - 5'' Nuisance Tax $ 30.00 Males exceeding 12'' must file capital gains.   Anyone under  3'' is eligible for a tax refund. ** PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION **

Yorkshire Lament

 "When I were a lad, our Mam'd send me down to t'corner shop wi' a shillin',

 an' I'd come back wi' five pound o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three
 pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, some Spangles,  a stick o' liquorice, a
 bottle o' Tizer, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs.
Ya can't do that now..... . . . . . ..
 Too many security cameras!!

WHO IS THE ODD MAN OUT - and more importantly - WHY??

Lord Stevenson: former chairman, HBOS  Sir Fred Goodwin: former chief executive, RBS  Andy Hornby: former chief executive, HBOS  Sir Tom McKillop: former chairman, RBS  John McFall MP: chairman of Treasury Select Committee  Alastair Darling: Chancellor of the Exchequer  Gordon Brown: Prime Minister and former Chancellor  Sir Terry Wogan: presenter of Radio 2's Breakfast Show  You're probably thinking  Terry Wogan.  You're right.  However, the reason may surprise you........... Terry Wogan is the only one out of this motley crew who actually holds any formal banking qualification!

Could you drive down a street painted like this?

Great Crevase Edgar Mueller. Hard work: Together with up to five assistants,Mueller painted all day long from sunrise to sunset. The picture appeared on the East Pier in Dun Laoghaire , Ireland , as part of the town's Festival of World Cultures

He spent five days, working 12 hours a day, to create the 250 square metre image of the crevasse,

Which, viewed from the correct angle, appears to be 3D. He then persuaded passers-by to complete the illusion by pretending the gaping hole was real.

.'I wanted to play with positives and negatives to encourage people to think twice about everything.They see,' he said. 'It was a very scary scene, but when people saw it they had great fun playing on It and pretending to fall into the earth. 'I like to think that later, when they returned home, they might reflect more on what a frightening scenario it was and say, "Wow, that was actually pretty scary"..'

Mueller, who has previously painted a giant waterfall in Canada , said he was inspired by the British 'Pavement Picasso' Julian Beever, whose dramatic but more gentle 3D street images have featured in the Daily Mail

Could You Drive on a Street Like This